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@GalileoMovement has been leaked a peek of the main Catastrophic Climate Change keyboard. This is where the emergency response team arguments are generated for the public debate. For example: 97% of climate models didn’t predict the “pause”. The correct response is… Alarmist Debating Keyboard … all of the above. h/t, credit to Paul Evans of The Gallileo Movement. 9.2 out of 10 based on 85 ratings February 4th, 2014 | Tags: Satire & Parody | Category: Funny stuff, Global Warming |  Print This Post | | Climate change violates one of Newton’s Laws First published on OnlineOpinion Dec 2007 and unfortunately still very applicable. by William York The claim that the science debate over cimate change is settled violates the most important of Newton’s Laws. This violation is not of the famous Laws of Motion but of a little known set of derived bylaws, Newton’s Laws of Experts, a major contribution to understanding social dynamics. Newton’s Laws of Motion may be simply stated as: First Law: every object persists in its state of rest or uniform motion unless acted upon by an external force; Second Law: the rate of change of momentum is directly proportional to the applied force; and Third Law: for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. The bylaws, Newton’s Laws of Experts, are as follows: First Law: every expert persists in his state of rest or opinion unless acted upon by an external grant; Second Law: the rate of change of opinion is directly proportional to the applied grant; and Third Law: for every expert there is an equal and opposite expert. The First Law of Experts is well known and can be demonstrated in countless universities, institutes and […] January 29th, 2014 | Tags: Satire & Parody | Category: Funny stuff, Global Warming | Print This Post | | .. This is funny. .. Michael Davis Ford’s Theater part 2 Yes that is Ronald and Nancy Reagan in the front row. 8 out of 10 based on 53 ratings […] Pay up, or we’ll turn you into a Hobbit! This is what our public science establishment has reduced itself to? Science fiction writers have infiltrated universities. They’re running amok, and while it’s all very entertaining (thanks for the laughs) some poor sods (like The Express) might think this is actually science. Mass extinction forecast with 6C temperature rise HUMANS will have to become like Hobbits to survive the rapid climate change facing the world, a report claims today. It says that in the past species have coped with a warming climate by turning to dwarfism.This is because food is less nutritious in a warmer world which means that species have to eat more – and by becoming smaller they can cope with food scarcity.The report published by the Climate News Network also warns that the speed of climate change could lead to mass extinctions partly because many species, form plants to animals, will not have time to adapt.It is based on the work of an international group of 30 scientists looking at the vast fossil deposits in rock strata in Wyoming in the United States, charting the period 55 million years ago when the earth temperature rose suddenly. One of […] January 8th, 2013 | Tags: Satire & Parody | Category: Funny stuff, Global Warming | Print This Post | | In a competitive field it’s going to hard to beat this. In 2007 the Victorian Government thought it was a good idea to spend $24 billion to build a humungously big desalination plant. There was a drought on at the time, and a specialist in small dead mammals said the drought would never end. But now Victorian households will pay up to $310 extra in water bills next year, and something like that every year for the next 28 years until it’s paid off. Even the people running the plant say it’s too big, Herald Sun EXCLUSIVE: THE French boss of the troubled Wonthaggi desalination plant has admitted for the first time that the plant is too big for Melbourne’s water needs. Suez Environment chief executive Jean-Louis Chaussade told the Herald Sun the size of the plant was based on unrealistic rainfall expectations. “The design was done to provide water to the full city of Melbourne in case of no rain during one year – which was not realistic … The details why it was 150GL per year, I don’t know,” he said. Which bright spark believed the government paid advertising that said there will be endless droughts? Who […] December 4th, 2012 | Tags: Australian rainfall, Big-Government, Desalination, Flannery (Tim), Satire & Parody | Category: Big-Government, Funny stuff, Global Warming | Print This Post | | While stories of the Arctic record fall in sea-ice have been all over the news, all over the world, it’s almost as if the Southern Hemisphere didn’t exist. Right now, this week apparently, the sea ice is at or near record highs (bearing in mind that we’re still only talking 30 years of satellite records, but then, these are the same satellites lapping over the arctic, and if the records are longer there, I expect it’s only by an hour and a half). …
h/t Steve Goddard who asks when the National Snow & Ice Data Centre ( NSIDC) will send out the press releases. They appear to be more concerned about the effects of the Antarctic “thinning” trend on penguins this week. Sunshine hours has graphed it in detail. Cryosphere compares the relentless fall and rise of Antarctic ice here. Millions of square kilometers in staggering, dramatic melts every spring manage to return in staggering dramatic ice formations each and every year. (Click to enlarge) I expect that our non-hemispherist unbiased and diligent newspapers will be running with matching ones very soon. Based on news stories like this: 8.9 out of 10 based on 84 ratings […] September 19th, 2012 | Tags: Antarctica, Satire & Parody, Sea ice | Category: Funny stuff, Global Warming | Print This Post | |
A Disinformation Statement by the Armenian Meteoastrological Society (Adapted by AMS Archdruids 20 August 2012) As told to Christopher Monckton of Brenchley
The following is an AMS Disinformation Statement calculated to provide an untrustworthy, prejudiced, and scientifically-outdated misrepresentation of pseudo-scientific issues of great concern to us in getting more grants but of no concern to those of the public still at large. Background This statement provides a brief overview of why we want more money now, and why we will continue to want more money in the future. It is based on a highly-partisan selection from the scientific literature, presented as though science were based upon the ancient logical fallacy of argument from “consensus”, and further distorted by the bureaucrats of the Mental Panel on Climate Change, the US Notional Academy of Science and Television Arts, and the US Global Cash Recoupment Program. How is our funding changing? Well, every summer solstice we all dress up in dustsheets and go to Stonehenge to pray for grants. And our prayers have worked! The increase in funding now is unequivocal, according to many different kinds of evidence. Observations show increases in globally averaged grants. We got […] September 3rd, 2012 | Tags: Monckton (Christopher), Satire & Parody | Category: Funny stuff, Global Warming | Print This Post | | These people are not good with numbers. In a paper published in Nature Climate Change today, Ove Hoegh-Guldberg, director of the Global Change Institute at the University of Queensland, together with Greg Rau of the Institute of Marine Sciences at the University of California, and Elizabeth McLeod of The Nature Conservancy, say new tactics are needed to save oceans from CO2 emissions. “It’s unwise to assume we will be able to stabilise atmospheric CO2 at levels necessary to prevent ongoing damage to marine ecosystems,” Professor Hoegh-Guldberg said. “In lieu of dealing with the core problem – increasing emissions of greenhouse gases – these techniques and approaches could ultimately represent the last resort.” In addition to using shade cloth over coral reefs, the paper suggests novel marine conservation options, including applying low-voltage electrical current to stimulate coral growth and mitigate mass bleaching; adding base minerals such as carbonates and silicates to the ocean to neutralize acidity; and converting CO2 from land-based waste into dissolved bicarbonates that could be added to the ocean to provide carbon sequestration. Alistair Hobday Research Scientist – Marine and Atmospheric Research at CSIRO said novel solutions are required. “We need to be mature enough to listen to […] August 21st, 2012 | Tags: Great Barrier Reef, Hoegh-Guldberg (Ove), JoNova's Favourites, Ove Hoegh-Guldberg, Satire & Parody | Category: Funny stuff, Global Warming | Print This Post | | Naomi Oreskes visited Curtin University in Perth last week. Blessed are those who came to bear witness to the true prophecies! Dr Roberto Soria from the International Centre for Radio Astronomy Research, was there at what he so aptly describes as an evangelistic event. His dry satirical report of that day follows, a very enjoyable read for those who have been at the receiving end of similar sermons. Frankly, I can’t think of a better way to absorb the Oreskes message. Enjoy! — Jo Naomi Oreskes preaches hatred of sinners The Parable of Oreskes is epic! Guest Post Dr Roberto Soria The glorious banquet is coming to an end. For 150 years hundreds of millions of guests have eaten to their hearts’ content at the Banquet of Gaia. But now, the Son of Man has arrived to deliver the bill. The diners are in shock. Some begin to deny that this is their bill. Others deny that there even is a bill. Still others deny that they partook of the meal, or suggest that they simply ignore the waiter. But there is no way out. The bill is due now, it is time to pay, or we […] August 17th, 2012 | Tags: Oreskes (Naomi), Religion, Satire & Parody, Soria (Dr Roberto) | Category: Funny stuff, Global Warming | Print This Post | | Posted in comments by “Carbon Free” ———————————————- I sit here in my living room with just a few minutes left before midnight & ‘Carbon Sunday’, now in my dark cold residence, using only a battery powered smart phone to blog, as I start my new low greenhouse gas existence. Already the new evening meal of beans and vegetables is starting to become uncomfortable. I dare not pass wind for fear of adding to the earth’s methane levels, and I have tried not to exhale my CO2 directly into the atmosphere, but rather store it in environmentally friendly plastic bags where it will be released into my new hermetically sealed backyard greenhouse, where plants will convert my CO2 back to pure O2 and stored carbon. My only sadness today was having all my pets put down. My dogs caused far too much emissions for the planet. Perhaps the vegan diet proved too much for their digestion systems but the thought of any living creature eating meat is far worse. Anyway, they will make good fertiliser food for the greenhouse. 9.1 out of 10 based on 103 ratings […] July 1st, 2012 | Tags: Carbon Tax, Satire & Parody | Category: Funny stuff, Global Warming | Print This Post | | It’s sad to watch the implosion of a Nobel Cause. Well it would be… But then DeSmog thinks providing fake documents “is in the public interest”. (Is there is a shortage of false and misleading articles around? Who knew?) This particular parody refers to Charles Johnson (who?). Hat tip: As Baa Humbug said in posting this in comments: This didn’t take long. 9.1 out of 10 based on 54 ratings February 21st, 2012 | Tags: FakeGate, Satire & Parody, YouTube | Category: Funny stuff, Global Warming, Satire & Parody | Print This Post | | New Element Discovered The CSIRO announced the discovery of a perverse, perplexing atom The new element is Governmentium (Gv). It has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lefton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons or protons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction normally taking less than a second to take from four days to four years to complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 3-6 years. It does not decay but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass. When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, […] January 25th, 2012 | Tags: Satire & Parody | Category: Big-Government, Funny stuff | Print This Post | | Blitzed in the polls, the Australian Labor Party have picked the communist solution — straight from the Soviet rule book of Free Speech. Goskomizdat revived as a kind of Goskoshopfront. It’s more desperate and simplistic band-aid legislation to benefit the ruling class and not the people. Surprisingly, the media seems to be silent on this scandalous attack on free-speech. The Gillard Government tells us the tax’s effect will be minimal, but they are clearly terrified of the blowback. The Australian Competition and Consumer Commission (ACCC) has been directed to enforce accurate business promotions with a $1.1m dollar fine, and team of 23 “carbon cops”, to stop Australian businesses from posting any signs telling the public how much extra they are paying due to the Carbon Tax, or having a “Pretax sale”. Imagine the travesty of transparently letting customers see a breakdown of their invoice, or of warning customers of price rises to come? A simple repeated message like the one below can take on a life of its own. (And we all know what animal the crowd will think of if we say: “Don’t think of an elephant”): Of course, some will wave this away by explaining […] November 22nd, 2011 | Tags: Australian Politics, Carbon Tax, Free Speech | Category: Big-Government, Free Speech, Funny stuff, Global Warming, Politics | Print This Post | | Lucky the BEST* project is here to save us from the lying thermometers of the past. Apparently people in the 1960’s and 1970’s were clever enough to get man on the moon, but too stupid to measure the temperature. Millions of people were fooled into thinking the world was cooling for three decades by erroneous thermometer readings. Who would have guessed? Back then, everyone was sure that the 1970’s was a lot colder than the 1940’s, as Steven Goddard reminds us: Newsweek April 1975 See the original Newsweek report at Denis Dutton‘s site. The Global Bermuda-Triangle Effect: Thermometer Weirding The performance of global thermometers is baffling. The technology is nearly 300 years old. The first thermometers were produced in 1724 by Daniel Fahrenheit, and by 1742 Anders Celsius had invented its main competitor. This simple, reliable instrument spread throughout the world and worked well. So far so good. But from 1920 we see the first signs of worldwide systematic errors (first too high, and then too low?!). The strange “Wierding” effect struck both mercury and alcohol thermometers and was most savage between 1945 and 1975. Frank Lansner compared the BEST projects result with his Rural Unadjusted Temperature […] October 27th, 2011 | Tags: 1945-1975, BEST project, Satire & Parody | Category: Funny stuff, Global Warming | Print This Post | | Pickering has it in a picture 🙂 Let’s applaud the brilliant Larry Pickering. It says a lot about the state of our nation, that after retiring 30 years ago, the esteemed cartoonist felt the inescapable urge to come back now. The Australian government and the Big Climate Scare are both achieving once-in-a-generation status. They are both ideas so preposterously absurd, they are Fertilizer for Funnies. When a government is so bad, that it brings long retired cartoonists out of retirement, you know this era is the end-game stage of a historic low. Cartoons like this are exactly why the Big Scare Campaign is scared to death of free speech. Pickering uses comedic exaggeration to the full, but people don’t need to take this literally. It cuts through. This captures a dangerous idea. What if the government was milking the scientific system? Imagine if they treated some scientists different (what, you mean like calling them names?). Gillard may control the Army but we skeptics have the best cartoonists. It’s no match. The Tax is temporary. 9.4 out of 10 based on 36 ratings […] October 16th, 2011 | Tags: Cartoon, Pickering (Larry) | Category: Funny stuff, Global Warming | Print This Post | | Brilliant. The country-and-western economic thesis. It’ll catch on. So much for those Keynsian doctorates. Ray Stevens, composer, comedian, singer. 🙂 We’re printing money Obama Money Let’s do what the government does, it works for them, it might work for us, so I forgot my ethics and morals and swallowed my pride We took out every credit card we could get and took out the maximum debt 5.8 out of 10 based on 4 ratings […] September 8th, 2011 | Tags: Economics, Keynsianism, Satire & Parody | Category: Funny stuff, Global Warming | Print This Post | | G.R.O.G. = Get Rid Of Gillard … … H/t: Just Grounds, Jeff, Craig. Thanks 🙂 Please, will the original artist comment so I can give credit and a link? UPDATE #1: Could be Alex Werchon on CAN-Do? 4-Mar-2011? (h/t Dave N if so). UPDATE #2: Andrew Bolt describes the Thomson meltdown as “out of control” — Senior members of the Gillard government are being accused of heavying the Health Services Union for reporting the allegation that M.P. Thomson misused Union funds to hire prostitutes… “overnight a dirt-covered shovel is left outside the door of HSU secretary Kathy Jackson, who was home alone.” Bolt also notes that the Labor Party connection with union thugs and conmen has some history. “What we are witnessing is more like scenes from a mafia vendetta, not the processes of a responsible government.” Andrew Bolt Have these people no scruples? 9.2 out of 10 based on 17 ratings More evidence of the backlash against the dominant Green-memes. (There’s a rich field of possibilities there for the taking.) Funny or Die do a pretty good job. UPDATE: hilariously I hear, these are “warmer” personalities, thanks Bananabender and Curt, but if they thought they were poking fun at skeptics, it only shows how badly this has backfired. (The warmer-team are the ones who not only suggest we can control the climate, and they’re already asking us to pay up now for the service.) "Stop the Environment", Funny or Die video snapshot. “Stop the Environment“ Warning: Coarse language. (They’re saying, “F U,” to Mother Nature) This is a Funny Or Die creation by Thomas Lennon, Ben Garant, Ed Asner and Mindy Sterling. Copy 1. 🙂 Stop The Environment from Ed Asner 8.5 out of 10 based on 6 ratings […] August 15th, 2011 | Tags: Satire & Parody, Video | Category: Funny stuff, Global Warming | Print This Post | | Speedy posted this skit in the comments thread here at #85. From that sequestered position, it’s taken two weeks but it’s going viral and Oops!, the satire of Clarke and Dawe is being credited to Clarke and Dawe. I’ve had 6 emails in the last couple of days. Let’s give Speedy some credit! Australian politics is like buying a second hand car — Jo 8.6 out of 10 based on 11 ratings […] This is a great turning point. I know this has been circulating for weeks, but if you haven’t seen this climate rap, do check it out. Good Friday night stuff. The warmers have been pretending for so long that they are the little guys fighting Big Oil, Big Industry, and Bad Government. The ruse worked so well, that the bubble is ripe for busting. They can’t “fight” the establishment — they are the Establishment. They have a $144 billion carbon trading scheme, a $243 billion renewables investment annually, not to mention a UN agency, and whole Western Government Departments spinning their dogma. What self respecting youth wants to be a useful idiot fighting for their profits? Enjoy… 9.3 out of 10 based on 15 ratings […] |
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