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The Bee: Health Officials Quarantine Portland To Prevent Spread Of Communism

Australians send our best wishes to friends affected by the outbreak of Collectivist-20 Fever.

Breaking: Health Officials Quarantine Portland To Prevent Spread Of Communism

PORTLAND, OR—The CDC has announced a full quarantine of Portland to prevent the spread of a dangerous virus known as communism.

Portland Oregon, Protestors, George Floyd.

Signs of an epidemic in Portland Oregon.

Although there is no known cure for communism, there are preventative measures that experts recommend, such as reading history books. 

There is not enough satire in the world.

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